Recovery and Healing Overwhelming Stress – Is Taking a Holiday Important?

Recovery and Healing Overwhelming Stress – Is Taking a Holiday Important?

 

When in Serious or Overwhelming Stress Is Taking A Holiday Important?

 

 

The above is a question one of my readers asked. My first answer is that the efficacity of a holiday is related to the circumstances and the mind set. I’ll explain.

There are several stressful events in life. First day at school. Taking an important exam or interview. Working up to the point of chatting to a girl or boy you really fancy. Getting married. Buying a house. Moving house. Taking a holiday. There are many others and these I have mentioned are the most important on average.

One source of evidence of a holiday being stressful is in the ‘Holiday back pain syndrome.’ This is very common and where mostly husbands are struck down with terrible back pain on the first or second day of their annual family holiday. Despite all and any treatment these sufferers only get better a day or two before they are due to return to work. This holiday pain syndrome is now well recognised as an emotional stress relief strategy. This is how their body/mind gets them out of a stressful situation they do not want. So holidays are not always an anti stress remedy

Having said that, Yes, if you feel that a holiday is appropriate, you can afford the cost and the time and there will be no additional stress in organizing and doing it, that is great.

I have a friend who hates the approaching holiday time because his wife drives him crazy with unacceptable costs and constantly changing the venue or date when everything seems to be settled. For him the holiday may be enjoyable and relaxing but organizing it is a nightmare he would love to do without.

To touch the question of, is taking a holiday important, a little more closely I am reminded of a personal experience of taking a holiday before my own burnout. I went to see my doctor about some pains that appeared for no apparent reason. He examined me and asked many and varied questions. “You are experiencing the psychosomatic fallout of severe stress”, he told me. I want you to take a holiday immediately. “Yes doctor”, I said. Three weeks later I bumped into the doctor in the street. “Hi, how was your holiday”, he said “ better I hope”. “Well I have not actually done anything about it yet but I will.” I said confidently but slightly ashamed.  “OK,” said the doctor smiling, “can you pop into my surgery this afternoon I would like to give you something to help the stress.” “Certainly” I said. 

I entered my doctor’s office and he indicated for me to sit down on the chair in front of him. The doctor stood up as I sat down and immediately launched into what was no less than a ten minute verbal thrashing about burning the candle at both ends for years and never bothering to care for myself insofar as taking holidays and having fun. This finished with “if you are not out of this country for at least 2 weeks by Friday I will cross you off my patients list and will never speak to you again. Now get out of my sight.”

OUCH!! OK, I got the message this time and went straight to a travel agent, called a girlfriend and we were on a plane to Greece the next morning. As I got to the end of the second week I began to realize how stressed I really had been also how stressed I still was despite the considerable reduction of my stress level during the holiday.

I knew then that to really make a difference I needed another week or two to really achieve what I desperately needed to do. About 18 months later I hit the wall of total and utter burnout.

So what had gone wrong and why had the holiday no lasting benefit? Well here is the answer. Because at that time I did not understand what stress was, how the mind and body/mind works or anything else about it, I did what just about everyone else does. That’s right, I went back after my holiday to doing all the things that got me into high stress in the first place. I recommend you read my two weblog articles on the 7^th Sense intelligence. I can remember now some 10 or 12 years later, thinking what a waste that holiday was.  This thought came as I realized a week later I was right back to being as stressed as before the holiday. What did I do? What everyone does of course, I just struggled on blindly doing everything necessary to wreck my life and companies until I hit the burnout wall.

Therefore, here is the next part of my answer. If a holiday is appropriate and there are no attached stressors in arranging it, paying for it or partaking of it, then that is a good start. On its own it may or may not help. The message of my own experience is that it is vitally important to analyse how you got into high or overwhelming stress and change those stressors of thinking patterns. For your holiday to have any lasting benefit at all you have to change your life. But wait a moment. Whatever you choose to change please do not throw the baby out with the bathwater.  There are some good things and bad things, it is only the bad that need to be changed or ditched. The bad? Well the bad are all those self limiting beliefs, values, behaviours and warnings you have simply taken for granted or ignored even though you keep falling over them.

Hold on, that’s not all, – there are many  limiting thinking patterns also, which keep you locked into running those limiting believable beliefs, values and behaviours over and over again even though you might realize they are not doing you any good.

The options are two. Take years of studying yourself, re-inventing the wheel and learning how the mind works or follow a simple course that takes you straight to your goal and new future. As you learn these lessons in a structured way you will also learn how the mind works via experience rather than just the printed word.

Analysing stressors is not a ‘do it yourself’ thing unless you are trained in that field. Next, if you have no knowledge of how to change thinking patterns and limiting behaviours the chances of success are limited indeed. I’m sorry to be brutal, that is how the mind works and to successfully change it is important to change in the way the mind works best and most easily.

To support and guide you I have built a training and coaching program called;

The Phoenix Solution.

I have made The Phoenix Solution easy to follow, just a few minutes of your time each week day. Otherwise you can save the short tutorials until the weekend.

The Phoenix Solution continues for almost a year. Why a year. This is because if you are not used to understanding how the mind works it is easy to slip back to what I mentioned above. Yes, the risk of slipping back to your old stressors is extremely high. I kid you not. This is not a sales pitch, it is well established fact. Do you remember your last New Year’s Resolution? How long did it or they last? A week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks at the most. If your New Year Resolutions are anything like mine used to be before I got to understand the mind, I need say no more. This duration will keep you on track like your own guidance system. Have you ever watched one of those action videos showing an air to ground missile hitting a bunker or other target.  You will have noticed how the missile weaves up and down also side to side. On observation it is quite easy to see the missile is being pulled back on course every time it veers away from its target. Well you are like the missile with a target in mind, my job is to keep you on track.

Now here is the best part, though my friends think I am totally crazy. You get 225 week day tutorials and coaching by e-mail for about $2 US per lesson. You can pay all up front in which case you also get a free copy of my book Activating Spontaneous Healing worth $30 US sent by post or in a pdf e-book format. Alternatively, you can pay monthly. Can you imagine 5 tutorials and coaching a week. 16 tutorials and coaching per month for about $32 US per month, I must be out of my head but that is the deal. I am doing this because I care and I know there are thousands of people who need this help. This give away price is simply to make a difference for as many people as possible.

I have been training people for 40 years and coaching for ten, albeit I had been coaching for many years before training as a life and sports/mind coach. I did not know it as life coaching though that is what I had been doing all along. You will also get a free pdf copy of my new book, ‘The Neuro Science of Stress management’, due out soon.

For further details of The Phoenix Solution to stress management contact me  Robert Denton at robertdenton@rdcoaching-power.com this is because our website is currently being upgraded and is off line at present.

N.B.  You will not find any testimonials here.

First of all I personally do not trust them. Actually I know they are mostly complete marketing fabrications to convince people to buy.

Secondly, all my clients are totally confidential. I may use some results in my reports, books or marketing but certainly there are no names and absolutely nothing in any way to implicate any client.

Yes there is the occasional exception and that is usually because the client is so marked by their positive change they volunteer and ask that I publish their story. Such charitable acts are little different from the above offer. It is a desire to point others to solutions that work at a price that surely anyone who wants to can afford.

For me honesty and total confidentiality are vitally important and something I honour with great care.

Come and join The Phoenix Solution. High stress is a very lonely place to be, it is also a dreadful  confidence sapping condition. In the Phoenix Solution you will be guided and supported all the way.

RECOVERY FROM OVERWHELMING STRESS AND BURNOUT – Update II.

The Art of Healing Stress, Overwhelm and Burnout

Burnout healing is all to do with the cause and the degree of burnout. First it is important to know that burnout is not an illness like depression. Burnout is a state of SELF-PROTECTION. It is an  internal healing of damage to the brain and body, largely as a result of prolonged and excessive amounts of cortisol known as the stress hormone.

By a state of self-protection and internal healing ’ I mean that it  appears from various research programs that an inner body intelligence has shut down the ability to work or in severe cases even to think,  until sufficient healing and recovery has taken place. Therefore it is important to understand that recovery or a better word is healing, your healing strategy is key to what happens next.  Ancient sages and  philosophers from the east knew this 5 thousand years ago. Now we have the technology to prove them right.

What is the difference between ‘recovery’ and ‘healing’?

Medically because the same two words are used simultaneously for the same meaning, there is probably little difference. The great difference in the psychological meaning of the two words. The psychological meaning makes all the difference in the world because they touch our emotional centre, beliefs and values. Emotions, beliefs and values trigger our choices and behaviours both at the conscious and unconscious level. Below I explain how that affects your health.

Recover means to get back to where your were before the crisis, everyone knows that.

Healing means to restore to full health.

Just a quick thought, which I will enlarge in the next weblog. Long suppressed anger (a negative emotion) has a lot to do with underlying stressful issues. I really came to understand this limiting aspect of anger the most limiting of all emotions. It was not until entering my 60s that I came to realise that although I loved and idealised my father I actually had an anger because he had not been there to guide me. Do not misunderstand this, I discovered it was not an anger against my father, I just had an anger that it had happened that way. I had an anger that I made so many mistakes in my life that caused me a lot of pain due to limiting thinking patterns of which I had created mostly for myself because my father was not there to guide me. I had an anger with myself because I had spent so much of my time and energy reinventing the wheel of life.

I would just like to say right here, when you have read this article of post do read (Recovery from overwhelming stress and burnout – Is taking a holiday important?) One of my readers asked the question. A very important question. In this article I give my answers and more important insights into managing stress. Please do read it.

My father was away most of the time due to his job as a diplomatic officer after the II World War, then he died of lung cancer when I was only nine years old. It was only when I was in the middle of my mind research program 50 years later that I discovered the anger. The anger came in the form of all the mistakes I made in my life because my father had not been there to teach me so many unwritten rules and guidelines of life. From this came one of several burning desires I now have to make available vital information about how the mind works.  How to choose the most appropriate thinking patterns and beliefs to build a happy, healthy and prosperous life. How to understand the principles of the mind and making change. How to avoid making the wrong choices. How to evolve and stay on top in a world environment that is changing at break neck speed never seen before without building unnecessary stress. How to avoid reinventing the world. To achieve these objectives I have now put in place a special course program called the Phoenix Solution in my effort to make this knowledge available to anyone.

Now to return to the question of healing stress. The catch and the paradox is that recovery takes you back to where you were before the crisis. That means you are trying to be in a place and a state to do the stress and burnout strategy all over again. Putting your thoughts and energy into recovery is nonetheless fruitless and ultimately adding to frustration and stress because to do so is trying to go backward in time. As we all know that is impossible and certainly not a smart move. This is why overwhelming stress and burnout takes so long to heal using all the wrong techniques. Thus, the only way to heal stress and burnout effectively is to move forward with new supportive thinking patterns.

Healing means to heal the thinking patterns that got you into high stress or burnout and choosing a new way of managing your life and your affairs. Once you heal the underlying cause, the symptoms heal themselves. It is in this process that hidden emotions like anger, resentment and others of a similar limiting nature can come to the surface. The healing process brings them to the surface of your conscious awareness so they can be healed as well in your unconscious.

The importance of understanding the psychological or emotional meaning is vital because it has more meaning to the unconscious or inner intelligence than to the conscious mind. The conscious mind is just the tip of the iceberg. When we begin to communicate with our inner or super intelligence that is when change happens and usually happens quickly.

 A great deal of research has been undertaken over many years to understand how we make change easily also why frequently we find change extremely difficult. Two answers to this question emerged above all others.

1. When we really want something with a passion that comes from somewhere in our deeper being we make change easily almost immediately.
2. When someone else wants us to change something for their own sake even if it is intended as a good guidance, we may find the change difficult or we continually forget because the idea and the desire is not imbedded in our deeper sense of need, desire, vision and focus. Another way of saying this is not having a sense of owning the idea to change.

Therefore, paradoxically trying to recover or get better is perhaps the worst thing to do. Recovery to where you were when you started the stress. Getting better at doing the stress thinking that got you into overwhelming stress or burnout?

SEND ME YOUR E-MAIL ADDRESS AND I WILL SEND YOU A FREE REPORT ON HOW CERTAIN BEHAVIOURS ACTUALLY BLOCK THE INNATE HEALER FROM DOING ITS JOB.

Certainly in the beginning the most important yet most difficult thing to do is first let go of everything. Next to focus whatever capability to think you have left at your disposition, on the pursuit of rest, relaxation, enjoyment and most of all having as much fun and laughter as possible. Why fun and laughter? Well these behaviours reduce performance, competition and other stress thinking activities that produce cortisol. Your main objective is to keep cortisol production to absolute normal levels. When you have laughter and fun in your life the body releases all sorts of chemicals and hormones that support good health in supporting the body’s inner healer. Theses substances also feed good feelings and creative thinking amongst other benefits.

When in extremely severe stress and certainly if in burnout the things to avoid and protect yourself from at any cost are additional responsibility, duty, working, performance, competition and anything that is disagreeable. This includes, perceptions, assumptions, limiting beliefs and all the values and expectations that drove you to your stress disaster in the first place. Learning the ability to say NO! is in such times crucial to healing.

There are many levels of stress, overwhelm and burnout. So speeding the healing of whatever level does depend very much on understanding what is happening at the emotional, psychological and medical or physical levels.

The catch is that if you go for recovery the journey is long, frustrating and you feel out of control. As I noted above, if you do manage to recover you are likely to start the whole process again. If not then very easily and quickly you recognise the stress symptoms and block your own progress. The longer you take to heal your stress condition the further you fall back while the world around you is speeding forward. The consequences are; more stress.

What is happening? Recovery leaves a void where the stress condition had been. The brain and mind cannot live with voids or vacuums so it fills the void with whatever is to hand. Guess what?  The nearest thing to hand is the stress creating strategy you thought you had recovered from.

After over 10 years of studying these problems I have put together a solution that I have called the Phoenix solution. From the ashes of despair and massive stress a new more beautiful life emerges. How does the Phoenix solution do that? It provides you with successful thinking patterns also beliefs, values and thinking behaviours that have been proved to be successful for thousands of years. Some of these are thinking patterns or programs that remain vital and pertinent no matter how much time passes. These are based in the principles of how the mind works. Then there are the thinking patterns that are appropriate to the moment and this time space no matter what the subject. These are the thinking patterns that must change with the changing world.

Send me your e-mail address to robertdenton@rdcoaching-power.com and I will send you a report FREE  that explains inner intelligence systems that control the body’s inner or innate healing.

One of the problems is filling the void with the most appropriate thinking that serves your dreams, objectives. This is what the Phoenix Solution does.  At the end of this article you will find more about the Phoenix solution.  

High stress, overwhelm and burnout can hit anyone but these states tend to happen more frequently to people who are high achievers or aim to be high achievers. People who are caring about giving a quality service, who want things in their control to be as perfect and effective as possible. Therefore, they tend to put great effort and long hours of hard work into pleasing and putting others and other matters before themselves or their own needs. Another group are the people who have a beliefs system of the victim, life is not just and their misery is everyone else’s fault.

The people in these groups can also be extremely self-critical and thus self demanding. That does not necessarily mean they are hard or thick-skinned. These people may give an external appearance of being tough and highly capable and underneath they are emotionally sensitive and extremely giving by nature. Learning to be thicker skinned and demanding that others take more of their own responsibility and personal leadership is certainly something to work on for the victim group.

High stress people can be very intelligent also sensitive to others people’s perceptions, comments and criticisms if those are not worded carefully.  Thus, in their sensitivity to the meaning of words there in lies their vulnerability to high stress and burnout.

My own experience of going through the most severe burnout has taught me an incredible amount about my own psychology and about how the body, the mind and body/mind works. Burnout victims invariably take upon themselves responsibility for peripheral issues far beyond reasonable standards. They take matters concerning their work or duties very seriously. Externally it may not appear so, however, internally there is an enormous amount going on constantly. It is this aspect that there is never really any rest or time for complete relaxation and simply having fun. Consequently their life is virtually 24/7 focusing on their work or responsibilities.

The reader will now I hope begin to understand that the most powerful and destructive essence of high stress, overwhelm and burnout are their beliefs, values and behaviours. Also how these factors interact with their environment. Other important associated psychological issues are perceptions, assumptions and expectations.

The subject and therefore a truly effective healing process is consequently complex. There is no one cure-all like taking a spoon of medicine, morning, noon and evening. Healing is in understanding one’s own beliefs, values, identity, function, perceptions, assumptions and expectations.

A burnout healing process is like few others where the objective is to get back to work as quickly as is reasonable. No quite the opposite. Burnout healing is about change and not doing what you did that got you in such trouble. Burnout recovery is to re-learn, re-program, learning to do your life in a different way with different beliefs, values, perceptions, assumptions and expectations and very possibly it all starts with examining beliefs about identity and function.

This issue of learning to do things in a different way is far more important that might be apparent. In my book ‘Activating Spontaneous Healing’ currently  obtainable in e-book or printed format from info@asr-key.ch   In the book I talk a great deal about the body’s inner intelligence and it is something that I found dominant in my own burnout healing. Inner intelligence is like a self-protection process or unconscious control that is perhaps more easily recognised as an internal guardian angel. In reality it is a complex mixture of emotions, muscle memory and hormones production triggered by those other factors. Hormones act like instruction manuals or performance programs. In this case they work like knee jerk reactions. Do the wrong thing, i.e. try to think or worse to work and you will be slapped down and knocked back in your burnout or overwhelm recovery by an instant and relentless crushing feeling of unbelievable mental and physical fatigue. The message is very clear. It simply and crudely says: don’t do that. The more you persist the more you will be slapped down until the day you learn to change and think about your life and future quite differently.

The problem is that you have never been taught how to think about how you think, let alone the effectiveness of your thinking patterns or indeed where you got them from.

Like the Pavlov conditioned reflexes, where under certain conditions or stimulants you automatically behave in a certain way. The inner intelligence protection mechanism is guiding or training you with a big stick to wipe out the old automatic behaviour patterns that trigger your reactions to do what you did before. This is an evolutionary process that can take as long or short a time as you choose. It is this simple. The faster you learn to change the beliefs, values, behaviours, perceptions, expectations that lead to your burnout, the faster your healing. Once the penny has dropped and you begin to realise exactly what is happening, because you are likely quite intelligent you may be able to work out the next steps for yourself. However, if you like reinventing the wheel and everything that came after as a result then so be it. In which case I suggest you consider taking four or more years in your healing and the next 0 to 40 years to work out what would work better. Whereas, by taking a little help and guidance from someone who knows can save you a great deal of time and pain.

While I talk a lot about the power of the body’s inner healer system being the most powerful of all healing arts, one of the paradoxes is that it is not always capable of activating itself. Therefore, for more complex problems such as high stress, overwhelm and burnout, you do really require help from someone with practical and real experience rather than someone with a head full of theory and often old-fashioned and redundant theory at that. For those wishing to have positive support I would recommend you contact me Robert Denton for more details.

I promise you there is no pressure with endless e-mails filling your daily inbox. If you are interested I will tell you all you need to know. If you are not interested, that is your choice and I shall not bother you with further information or news.

Now I might be crazy offering such a deal but my goal is to make a difference in this world by sharing this knowledge. So I am making it affordable to everyone. So I am asking you to afford just over $2 US  or for each of 225 coaching days over the training and coaching course that last  almost one year.

Each day of the week you will receive a lesson that can change your life from struggle to abundance. Each lesson lasts just a few minutes. That is all you have to do, just a few minutes every day. With each lesson there is a task for you to complete so you integrate the lesson and the learning. The Phoenix Solution course in thinking patterns continues for a year because making changes can be easy and also tough with resistances because you do not understand or you are full of doubt or fear.

Why not take the first tentative step to changing something you have but don’t want for the future you do want.

Contact me Robert P. Denton at robertdenton@rdcoaching-power.com and I will send you all the information to participate in this fabulous offer. The Phoenix Solution.

STRESS RECOVERY MORE THAN A BOTTLE

STRESS RECOVERY MORE THAN A BOTTLE

 

 

That enduring numbed brain feeling loaded with mental and physical fatigue, lost hope of ever feeling free, light and youthfully happy again, paints a dark cloud over another day.

 

Yes, massive even paralysing stress creeps up on the unsuspecting then suddenly rears up to terrify us. In that moment of realisation that we are out of control and what is this life about anyway, we sink further into the sticky mire of self recrimination also likely blaming everyone we can think of  for our predicament.

 

Though I dislike the word recover when it comes to stress, I use it because that is what most stress suffers think about. I take no pleasure in explaining that recovery is to get back to where you were before feeling burnt out. The sting in the tail is that recover is to go back to what got you into this stress mess. The world is constantly moving forward also changing therefore, not only is it impossible to go back in time it is certainly not a good idea especially with the subject of stress.

 

Overwhelming stress is something we do to ourselves. It is a direct result of the way each of us thinks about our world, life, job, family, etc. It is fed by all the things we believe to be believable truths. All the things we believe to be of value. What we mistakenly assume other people are thinking about us. It is all the habitual behaviour patterns we enact daily without any thought whether they are serving our needs, dreams, happiness or greater purpose or not.

 

Recovery is simply and clearly sliding backwards into limiting and redundant thinking patterns that got us into overwhelming stress or burnout. The only solution is moving forward. That is not forward to the pharmacy to have a prescription made up with brain numbing chemicals that do little but add to our problems. Why is recovery from massive stress or burnout so difficult? The answer is clear, it is because in trying to recover we are invariably doing the worst thing.

 

I have spent 10 years analysing this problem finally realising some undeniable facts. The result is that I have taught myself to think the way my body/mind and inner intelligence has been trying to teach me for years. While massive burnout is no joke and certainly brought my life style and accomplishments to a grinding holt it has opened a new era for me. In studying stress and burnout I accidently came across my inner intelligence and I learnt its language. This is not some mythical or crazy whispering voice in my ear, this is interpreting a language that manifests itself in actions like unexplainable pain the doctors can find no reason for, overwhelming stress and burnout to mention just 3 common signal warning messages.

 

The answer is not to be found in a recovery strategy with a bottle of pills, rather in moving forward into a different future. I mentioned earlier how the world constantly moves forward and evolves. To grow in this environment that is moving and changing faster than ever before we have to move forward with little but change on our minds.

 

Stress comes from resistance. We become stressed when we resist change. We resist change because the change state required for the moment does not conform to the beliefs, values and habitual behaviours we automatically use to run our daily lives without thinking whether they are good bad or indifferent.

 

The language of stress is saying to us we have one foot stuck in the past. When I first analysed this sentiment and my own thinking patterns I found how true that message was. Now you can choose to benefit by this awakening or you can figure it out for yourself over the next 10 to 20 years.

 

We cannot recover from stress without moving forward into a new and different future where we create what we want rather than accept what we are given.

 

We can only do this by planning the future we want and choosing the most appropriate believable beliefs, supporting values and behaviours, which all underpin our dreams and plans without causing friction and thus less stress.

 

The result of my research into overwhelming stress and burnout is in the creation of the Phoenix Solution. For just a few minutes each weekday this year long training and coaching program will cost you less that $2 US per day.

 

The Phoenix Solution will provide you with new thinking patterns, different yet appropriate beliefs, values and behaviours that are compatible and supportive of what you really do want and not what you are stuck with now.

 

The Phoenix Solution program will coach you to awaken your dreams and then build the support system to turn those desires into your reality. The Phoenix Solution will provide new thinking patterns to support your dreams and reduce mental and emotional friction to keep stress well within manageable levels.

 

Now I might be crazy offering such a deal and then I know if I made this free no one would value or bother with it. So I am asking you to afford just over $2 US for each of 225 coaching days over one year.

 

Each day of the week you will receive a lesson that can change your life from struggle to abundance. Each lesson lasts just a few minutes. That is all you have to do, just a few minutes every day. You can of course save them until the weekend then again that is not really working in the spirit of the course. With each lesson there is a task for you to complete so you integrate the lesson and the learning. The Phoenix Solution course in thinking patterns continues for a year because making changes can be easy and also it can be tough at times particularly if some old thinking patterns are getting in the way of your brighter future.

 

For more details of the Phoenix Solution, contact me, Robert Denton at robertdenton@rdcoaching-power.com

A Powerful Solution to Stress Recovery.

A Powerful Solution to Stress Recovery.

I dare to say the only way to successfully walk away from high stress, overwhelming stress and burnout is to change thinking patters, beliefs, values and other behaviours that actually give a platform for the stress to wreck our lives. It is only limiting thinking patterns and behaviours that feed or turn potential stressful situations into the real thing. Running the most appropriate thinking patterns for any stressful situation turns stress into solutions. Solutions lead to confidence, courage and leadership free of debilitating stress.

 

It may not be popular at first because it is not obvious and most people do not like to be put in the hot seat of responsibility. I am not here just for the sake of being a nice guy. My objective is to make one hell of a difference to as many people’s lives as I can. I have said it so many times I have lost count and I will continue saying it so that more and more people eventually get the message. Then they can walk away from overwhelming stress also at the same time learn how to manage stressful situations without becoming a victim of them.

 

Yes, today everyone is connected to the internet and everything seems to be for free. We are all sucked into thinking that we can fix all our problems by searching for the internet answer. Certainly you can find many people offering all sorts of help and yes, it is usually for a lot of money. That is fine for the really wealthy and what about those who have been hit badly by the world financial crisis or simply in one darn great hole of despair when it come to their lives and their finances.

 

Whichever category you fit in I have a fantastic deal for you at an unthinkable price. No it’s is not just under $2,000, not even just under $1,000: No this is the deal of the century because this information is worth a gold mine. It is called ‘The Phoenix Solution’. The Phoenix Solution will take the ashes of your life, errors, mistakes, missed opportunities and whatever else then turn them into a new life of success and abundance. Sounds too good to be true, yes.

 

So what is the deal?

 

The deal is this. Everything you have in your life today whether it is good, bad, indifferent or redundant it all comes from your past thinking patterns. Every idea you have, every decision, you take, every action you put your energy into is a direct result of your past thinking patterns. Every house, car, wife, husband, job, business, whatever you have is a direct result of your past thinking patterns. Every crime you have committed, every good deed, every belief, every, intuitive thought, every anger, every emotion every fear, doubt and stress, they are all a direct result of your past thinking patterns.

 

Now, if you are struggling to cope, depressed with your life, unable to see your way forward into prosperity, unsure how you will pay the bills or coping with massive stress, you have been running some pretty lousy thinking patterns, beliefs, values and habitual behaviours. I do not care how much or how little education you have had or how brilliant you were at college or university even how you dropped out of college and opted for a job that at least put some money in your pocket.

 

You will not have learnt any of the Phoenix solution lesson at school, college or university but you might have learnt a few of them if you studied a MBA course.

 

The Phoenix Solution is all about teaching you thinking patterns, beliefs and values that have been proven to work for thousands of years. They are as good today as 5 thousand years ago. Now, this last statement, as good as 5 thousand years ago, should be telling you there is something important here, sit up and take notice!

 

The people in our world who have done great things and created massive personal fortunes have all held the same vital knowledge. They have also, all without fail, done the same things that have evolved from the same dynamic thinking patterns, beliefs and values, which someone passed onto them with a sting in the tail attachment. The sting in the tail said; never tell anyone these secrets because anyone can achieve anything with this information so to cut out the competition keep this a secret. That is why 90% of the worlds wealth is held by 1% of the people.

 

Now I might be crazy offering such a deal and then I know if I made this free no one would value it or bother with it. So I am asking you to afford just over $2 US for each of 225 coaching days over one year.

 

Each day of the week you will receive a lesson that can change your life from struggle to abundance. Each lesson lasts just a few minutes. That is all you have to do, just a few minutes every day. With each lesson there is a task for you to complete so you integrate the lesson and the learning. The Phoenix Solution course in thinking patterns continues for a year because making changes can be easy and also tough with resistances because you do not understand or you are full of doubt or fear.

 

The course duration of almost one year gives time to make sure you do not fall back into old redundant and limiting thinking patterns. The course is in a few minutes modules each week day so to minimise any additional stress caused by adding more demands to your day.

 

Can you imagine receiving professional training and coaching for the most important information any one can want for just $2 US per day.  That is $450 US paid by monthly instalment of $37.50. Just think of it, coaching five days a week for almost a year for only $37.50

 

Happy thinking patterns

 

Robert P. Denton

Senior trainer The Phoenix Solution to stress.   Contact robertdenton@rdcoaching-power.com

A Solution to Moving out of Stress or Burnout

THE PHOENIX SOLUTION

“We all Create Our Own Reality – We all create our own reality as a direct consequence of the beliefs, values and thinking patterns we have been given also have chosen ourselves.”

 I would love to offer you a pill to take and your high stress, overwelming stress or burnout would melt away. The fact is there is no such thing and likely never will be because these levels of stress and burnout are directly related to how each of us uniquely thinks about our lives, jobs, environments, etc., also the choices we make.

Whoever thinks about their thinking patterns, beliefs and values?  We are more prone to putting our mental energy into finding someone or something else to blame for our current problem or situation.

I know the next question is tough and I mean it with sincerity because it is fundamental to healing stress and moving forward and enjoying life again.

When do we ever take responsibly for our own flawed thoughts, decisions and actions?

Understanding that you create your own reality is the beginning of a better more effective way of thinking. This is because you have just taken control and responsibility for what you think, how you think and the results you get.

Read the above two sentences again and take a few moments to think of the implication.

If you are in high stress or moderate burnout your thinking patterns will be distorted by the abnormally high levels of the hormone cortisol. I have analysed this problem and come to the conclusion there is a mental defence system with the purpose of preventing the person from doing more of what had done, which lead to their overwhelm or burnout. For more on this subject my several articles related to the 7th Sense.

To overcome this problem I have found there is a specific 7th Sense intelligence and internal language. Learning the language is important because fundamentally it is understanding what your body and mind are trying to communicate to you what is wrong and what to change.  Recognising and understanding this language means we an find the answer to how to move forward in our lives without activating the stress symptoms that are so dibilitating.

How you react to the following statement will give a clue to your next future. The fact you are reading this suggests you are suffering some form of high stress or burnout. That stress is a direct result of the thinking patterns with the subsequent choices you made and the decisions and actions you took in the past. 

If you get what your thinking patterns are designed to produce. Don’t you think it would be pretty smart to analyse and change anything that does not serve your wishes or achieves your dreams or goals?

Don’t you think it would be better to know what results specific thinking patterns will produce?

Don’t you think it would be better to take control of your thoughts and therefore control of your future?

Don’t you think it would be pretty cool to learn some thinking patterns that successful people are also using to create the abundance they decided they wanted?

Yes you know you are thinking and what you are thinking. What 90% of the population do not realise is that their action thoughts ar not necessarily the best thought patterns. To stay employable and useful in this world the smart people constantly develop their skill set.  For example:

When did you last analyse and upgrade your thinking strategy skill set for planning and creating your future?

Do you think the above could have something to do with the reason why you are experiencing high stress problems in your life?

For just $35 US or 23.80€ per month. That is 16 days at $2.18 US or 1.48€ per lesson. 225 lessons per year at $2.18 US or 1.48€ per lesson. For this  you get to learn beliefs, values, behaviours and thinking patterns that the successful and influential movers and shakers of this world have known all along and kept them a secret.

This is The Phoenix Solution.

Are you aware that?

You are an amazingly talented creator of your present and future, everything you currently have in your life, good , bad or indifferent is the direct result of your past thinking patterns, beliefs, values and behaviours.

Each thought you have is a seed that wings its way into the universal field of energy and information. From a small acorn a mighty oak will grow. Whatever the seed so will manifest the plan.

Exactly in the same way and for the same reasons you always get results according to the thinking patterns you use. Yours, mine and everyone’s current experience is the result of our individual thinking patterns.

To change the colour or shape of a plant it is necessary to change the DNA information. Nature has being doing this constantly for millions of years very successfully.  That is how it evolves and adapts to the changing environment.  To change thinking patterns it is necessary to change some beliefs, values, habitual behaviours and sometimes the thinking environment, to produce the desired result. That is rather than what you don’t want but are having to live and cope with right now. 

This is what The Phoenix Solution offers to do.

Here is something very important to know. You should know about how your mind and thinking patterns that control your entire life works.

“Successfully managing your life is like managing a successful business. “

A business can only afford to make so many mistakes before getting into deep trouble. That is why successful businesses spend so much money on acquiring the best advice, training and support while looking for the most affordable price.

Exactly the same applies in managing our own lives, too many errors of judgement, too many false, beliefs, ideas or values, too many wrong decisions and we find ourselves in a terrible downward spiral. All the time loosing direction, confidence and almost loosing hope. I have personally experienced this things as I went from overwhelming stress into a life and career stopping burnout. Because I realised what had happened and knew something about the mind I worked my way out of burnout while also learning and studying exactly what was happening. This research has been going on now more that 10 years and the myths, paradoxes, misunderstanding and understading of what is really going on in the mind has be truely amazing.

This course called The Phoenix Solution is going to give you the thinking patterns, beliefs, values and behaviours that every successful entrepreneur uses to create their abundant life and future.

Used effectively, the information in this course can take you from the ashes of past burnt out decisions, beliefs and values into setting up your dreams to create what you really want and bring it into your reality.

Years ago when I was approaching burnout, I still had several of my companies, I would have thought it crazy to give such extraordinary value at such an incredibly low price, but that was limiting stress thinking. Limiting stress thinking is driven by survival, fear and what else that is out of step with the current reality.

My goal is to move as many people out of the stress and struggle spiral with information that we all should have learnt at school. I am simply doing what the smart movers, shakers and thinkers do. I have changed my stress limiting thinking patterns for those that are smarter and better. That is why I am making it available to everyone at a price they can easily afford. Almost 6000 people have read my articles on stress. The majority do not want to spend any money and think they can fix their stress themselves with their stress thinking patterns. Yes, some will succeed but at what price of emotional stress and financial cost and how long will it take them? Is that 1year, 3 years 10 years, right up to the day they retire or the day they die, how long?

Why suffer when The Phoenix Solution will take you from the core of the problem into your solution.

The Phoenix Solution course is almost a year long because it takes time to make and imbed the changes that will make a difference to your life and less risk of falling back into old redundant thinking patterns. That said, almost right from the beginning you should begin to be aware of changes. No, this is not a flash in the pan fickle promise to help you change your life in 5 minutes. I will accompany you right to the finish of the course and show you and coach you on how to achieve what you want. No one can do the work for you.

Yes, it does demand effort on your part, this is not a free ride, no effort no results. Just a few minutes each week day is all it takes. Where is your determination to have what you want. Please note, I do not accept martyrs. I want live heros who want to be successful.

I have spent two years preparing this course in a way that it can be so easily available to almost anyone. Thinking that anyone in any state of high stress would not jump at the chance, I just cannot help thinking of the expression; ‘looking a gift horse in the mouth’.

As an example of limiting thinking through best intentions, I have published my personal story of waiting for a company to finish what was in their contract. I waited and wasted two weeks. Then two more weeks have passed and time is running out before the snows come and all will be blocked until the spring. All winter I shall be suffering with the cold simply because I did not take the right action immediately. I was too easy with the company. Now and all winter I’m paying the price for that one simple error. Why? Because for a moment I hesitated, letting an old redundant value that no longer works, take charge of my thinking pattern.

Act now and save yourself further struggle, further stress and more mistakes that keep you in that limiting spiral that keeps you out in the cold.

For more information about The Phoenix Solution training and coaching course write to me Robert Denton at  robertdenton@rdcoaching-power.com

With best wishes in building your very best future.

Robert Denton.

Stress Recovery and the 4 Healing Questions

Stress Recovery and the 4 Healing Questions

 

My name is Robert Denton, I have been through overwhelming stress, seriously serious burnout and back. Well actually not back, rather forward.

 

I use the word recovery in the title of many of my articles on healing serious stress because that is the word people so often use as a search word. In most cases the word recovery as far as overwhelming stress and burnout is concerned is a ‘fausse ami’ (false friend). Recovery means going back to where you were in the past that actually got you into the high stress mess.  This is an example of how some thinking patterns hold us back. You see, where we put our mind that is where we go. So focusing on stress and recovery simply feeds more stress to recover from because it is not possible to go back in time or space. Also, as far as high stress is concerned it is not a good idea.

 

Now if we focus on healing and the future also changing many thinking patterns along with those two things, now that is something else. The new or changed behaviour is putting our thoughts in a totally different place with absolutely different results.

 

Sorry to blow my own trumpet and if I do not you simply will not know. Therefore I will explain that after my burnout healing I started studying what stress is, how it behaves, what are the consequences and why. Most of all I analysed clients stress and my own stress over a 30 year period.

 

The results are amazing, full of paradoxes and frequently I found so many beliefs about stress are quite the opposite to what is really happening.

 

In healing overwhelming stress and burnout, it is so important to understand the stress is being fed by stress enhancing thinking patterns. Hating every moment of going to work because someone is making your life hell just increases the stress because that is where your mind is, it is what you are expecting therefore it is what you get. That is where you are placing your thought energy. That energy is so powerful it perpetuates the situation.

 

Growing rich is fed with rich thinking patterns.

A life full of struggle is full of struggle thinking patterns.

Just surviving is fed with survival thinking patterns.

A life of poverty is fed with poverty thinking.

A life of abundance is fed with abundance thinking patterns and so on.

 

The 4 healing questions will start you off on a journey of knowing yourself in order that you can heal your own stress. That is a thousand times better than popping anti depressant pills all the time.

 

Which do you want?  To be dependant on your doctor and a bottle of pills that numbs your brain and senses or learn how to get into stress healing thinking patterns and grabbing back full control of your life. Which do you want, to give up responsibility for your self, becoming like a child that has to be looked after all the time or to experience all your senses, some of which you may have never realised existed. The five basic senses are just the beginning. So if you want to start enjoying life again, mastering your full capacity to express and enjoy yourself then here is what you can do.

 

Once a week for 45 weeks of the year you will be coached on the internet by me. I will start by asking you the 4 primary healing questions. Then you have to do your part. So it is like this. The success of this training and coaching is in you discovering what you want also what you want to change. The next stage is also up to you. Another powerful advantage is that daily coaching and reminding yourself of what you do want is infinitely better that a once a week coaching bash and a void in between.

 

Normally an hour of personal coaching can cost anything from US$ 200 to US$ 1,000.Fair enough that is one-to-one coaching on a high level. For just $33.25 you can have the same powerful coaching. So why is it so reasonable. The simple answer is that for most people and situations intensive coaching is not always the most effective. New research has shown how a fantastic coaching can take place with a few statements and carefully thought questions.

 

Write to me Robert Denton at robertdenton@rdcoaching-power.com  for further details of this special coaching and a super bonus.

 

You know life is one continuous learning process. Two weeks ago a new wood fired oven, room heater and source of central heating was being installed in my house in the Alps. On the Tuesday I helped to transport the 350Kilo beast up the mountain. With impeccable planning that went perfectly. The plumber was due on the Wednesday and I had an uneasy feeling. The Plumber arrived as promised but it quickly became apparent that he had no intention of doing the work and said he wanted to submit another estimate.  I felt troubled because I knew that meant loosing time and the snows are due at any moment. Once the snows fall access for all but that which can be carried in a rucksack will be blocked until next March or April.

 

I stayed calm and two weeks passed with no word so I rang the supplier. The manageress was surprised to hear my concern as she had understood from her team all went well. The fact is that her team had tried to cover up a serious error on their part, which was the cause of the plumber not making the necessary central heating pipe connections.

 

What was my lesson? Oh yes, There are times to be kind and tolerant and there are times to take action instantly. Communication is a great thing so long as people are communicating in the right way. So my intention of being understanding  and patient may have cost me a winter of sub-zero temperatures of -11°C to -22°C with only one fire to keep the chalet warm. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

With further analysis of my intentions and non action I realised I had cared for all those others including the ones that created the mess and further delay and had not cared for myself and my own interests.  You might think that is just selfish but let’s remember who is supposed to be providing a service and who is paying the bill. The world is changing extremely fast and old redundant values like being patient have to be re-assesed.

 

So waste time avoiding action if you will. Remember hesitation is a costly and often sobering luxury that in most cases has hidden costs.

 

This is Robert Denton

Performance trainer/coach in healing stress

HIGH STRESS SYMPTOMS

HIGH STRESS SYMPTOMS

 

Recognise your stress and stressors when all seems calm.

 

      Most people recognise stress and the signs of stress. Being quickly irritated, short tempered, and unhappy with situations that never seem to change or improve. Feeling left out, unwanted, unappreciated, constantly experiencing low moral, regular headaches and associated notions of being stuck in situations you would rather not be in the middle of but see no way out of.

     Those things are bad enough. And they should be taken greater notice of instead of being aggressive with someone who is probably innocent and just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Yes, that poor unsuspecting person who by chance is unlucky enough to have walked into your company and your stress mood.

     OK, that’s enough of that I’m not here to beat you up, rather to open your awareness to something really important when it comes to managing massive stress.

    What I am talking about here is those powerful also sometimes subtle stress signs that are actually hammering on your pain centres to say STOP!

     What do most of us do? That’s right, we go to the doctor, osteopath, chiropractor, or dive into the pharmacy for some pain killers. What else do we do? Yes, we ignore the message to stop. We do the worst thing possible by putting all our energy into doing what is necessary to keep on going. Keep on doing what we have been doing. Keep on doing all those things that maintain and add to our existing stress load.

     Mostly stress sufferers are aware of most stressors and keep promising themselves they will do something about them before hiding them into the deeper recesses of their mind. But what about the other signs of massive stress that seem to have no connection to the stress level. One symptom that frequently strikes men is crippling back pain in the lower back. These attacks seem to suddenly arrive for no apparent reason when the person is possibly walking, getting up from a chair, or doing something neither emotionally challenging nor physically demanding.

     Certainly there is one physical movement that will put you on your back for ten days that arrives the day you leave for that long awaited or long dreaded summer holiday.

     How to put yourself out of action for 10 days! Pack your holiday suitcase to the limit while getting really stressed and hating the very idea of the journey to the aeroport. Then the flight followed by the hassle of finding your hotel, booking in and finally unpacking. Once your suitcase is packed and you have managed to close the zip fasteners, pull it to the edge of the bed. Now stand up, face the exit door, without moving your feet rotate your upper body, grab the suitcase and head for the door jerking the suitcase off the bed. If that does not have you on your back on the floor in 3 seconds in absolute agony be assured it will at some later moment when you are least suspecting it.

     My personal experience plus those of clients and friends who have experienced or frequently experience such back pains reveals an interesting pattern.

     I have noted many clients and friends who live high stress lives mostly due to their jobs or their personal lives. The times that they have collapsed with severe back pain on the first day of their summer holiday is significant. Despite treatment by an osteopath, chiropractor or masseur such therapies invariably have little beneficial  effect until the last day or two of the holiday.

     I have realised a scenario that may sound strange even bizarre yet in my study of the neuro science of inner intelligence and thinking patterns it comes to make a great deal of sense. It goes something like this. The first day of your holiday you know you can relax because you do not have to wind yourself up into that stress performance for Monday morning and the rest of the week. Imagine that your seventh sense inner intelligence suddenly wakes up to the fact that you are ready to relax. It knows that very quickly you will be hit by all sorts of other stressors before too long so now is the time to act. Your inner intelligence first gets you to be careless about moving that heavy suitcase or some other heavy item. Your 7^th sense knows that within 3 seconds to 24 hrs. you will be in such agony there is no chance of doing anything other than lay down, take things easy and just relax for 10 days because it is simply too painful to move. The interesting common occurrence is that the holiday back syndrome does not strike until you arrive in the hotel. There is an interesting logic to this. If the back pain occurs immediately there is a chance you will cancel the holiday, which is not necessarily a good thing. When the back pain strikes in the hotel you have few options but to lie down and let go. The next interesting observation is that all the pain always seems to disappear by the time the unfortunate person is ready to resume their work. There is an interesting neuro feedback strategy that responds to escaping a family stressor back to the office. I’ll explore this in another article.

     The above scenario is just one stress symptom. There are untold others out there somewhere. Your job is to find and recognise the signs or symptoms of massive stress that frequently slow you down. Then you should be looking for the connected stressor or stressors. If you cannot do this yourself go out and find a qualified a coach who can give you a hand.

      Now, forget about meditation, guided relaxation, having fun, workouts at the fitness club or whatever else you have been trying to do to lower your stress. If you do not take notice of your 7^th sense messages and do something about recognising your stressors your anti-stress strategies are a waste of time and effort. The only solution is in taking action to break those vicious circles. Why? Because your 7^th sense or inner intelligence will not give up until you do change your life.

     What is the alternative? Well, it’s not difficult to predict because it is so common these days. Your 7^th sense and inner intelligence simply stops you in your tracks. Yes, BURNOUT. I really do not care what burnout means to you. Whatever level of burnout it’s all bad news.

     I know the decisions are difficult, let’s face it you have been creating your own trap for years. Therefore, the way out is rarely if ever simple or easy. Yes we all have to think about our job, finances and all those other things that are essential. The most valuable awareness is that there are options even though we may not see them.

     What are the consequences of not taking action? Well the list is fairly short so it is easy to follow.

1. FOLLOWING BURNOUT THERE IS:
2. LOOSING YOUR JOB OR BUSINESS.
3. LOOSING YOUR HOME because you cannot afford the mortgage payments or your wife takes it in the divorce settlement.
4. LOOSING YOUR WIFE AND CHILDREN.
5. LOOSING YOUR CAR, BOAT, LIGHT AEROPLANE, GOLF CLUB MEMBERSHIP, ETC.
6. LOOSING YOUR FRIENDS.

 

THE FOLLOWING ARE THE MOST SERIOUS AND THE MOST DIFFICULT TO RECOVER!!!

1. LOOSING YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE.
2. LOOSING YOUR VISION FOR THE FUTURE.
3. LOOSING THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE THINGS HAPPEN.
4. LOOSING YOUR SOUL IN DESPERATION AND DESPAIR.

There are two more that are really extraordinarrily serious that deserves their own place.

• LOOSING ALL SENSE OF YOUR REASON TO BE.
• LOOSING YOUR SENSE OF IDENTITY.

 

     The above is a stark warning. The trouble is that hundreds of thousands of people are doing all the wrong things and hitting the 10 list above every day.

     Do you really want to join the list? The sad fact is that if you are reading this article you are most probably already in deep trouble. If so it is only you who can make the decision to change your life. Why not start right now before things really get serious or are you there already?

 

Robert Denton   personal anti-stress coach, sports/mind and performance coach, neuro science coach

info@asr-key.ch

The Neuro Science of the Seventh Sense

Neuro Science of the Seventh Sense

 

Since first writing about seventh sense intelligence, observations and study of the subject has already developed considerably. Just recognising the presence or existence of the seventh sense intelligence has opened a whole new insight into behaviour and limiting behaviour programming. At present this study is focused on 7^th sense intelligence and the paradoxical resistance to recovery from overwhelming stress and burnout.

 

The fact is clear, there are a very large number of people who discover that recovery from overwhelming stress or burnout is far from easy regardless of their efforts. This immediately suggests to me there is possibly a flaw in the treatment or the wrong thing is being treated. This is most likely due to the old habit of treating the symptom not the cause. The people I hear from report that whatever treatment they try nothing seems to make any difference. Over the past few months since writing this series of articles on stress I have had almost 5000 readers. I realise this is just the tip of the tip of the iceberg. The problem of very slow recovery rates is certainly a major source of concern.

 

I had been working on this problem for some time when several Ah-ha moments happened in quick succession. The first of these was a sudden understanding of the deeper meaning of the word recovery. Let’s face it, anyone suffering any form of mental, emotional or physical injury just wants to recover as quickly as possible. This is where the neuro science comes into the picture. Word meanings and implications are different for all of us, which accounts for part of our individual uniqueness. Beliefs, values, education, indoctrination, traumas, dramas and highly charged stressful situations, all add special meaning to the word recovery. For those experiencing overwhelming stress or burnout will have a new subliminal meaning to this word. In all forms of communication the words we choose can make a significant difference to the outcome of intentions.

 

Recovery from a broken leg or arm will more than likely encourage the person to be particularly careful when doing whatever they were doing that led to their breaking a limb. The trauma, the drama and the emotional and physical pain or experience memory were all in real time at the time of the accident and very clear in the conscious mind. Mostly anyone having that experience will warn themselves to be careful. When they start to be in a similar situation their inner alarm bells should be enough to wake the dead. The challenge with overwhelming stress and burnout is that most people do not see it coming. Suddenly it is dominating their life and they have no idea what it is, how it happened or what to do about it. It is not a pain one can touch and shout “ouch.” It is in your mind and every part of your body but it is not something you can see hear or touch.

 

The first dawning realisation of the 7^th sense of ‘recover’ was that everyone in this condition is blocking themselves from recovery. Imbedded habitual or auto-active behaviours and limiting thinking patterns are far better understood since the emergence or neuro-sciences in the past 25 years. These automatic behaviours and limiting thinking strategies for whatever reason become our own stumbling blocks. In this study I have come to the conclusion that the ‘recovery’ paradoxically is a psychological or emotional block. The seventh sense intelligence almost certainly linked to the immune and inner healing systems, seems to click into operation when there is no conscious awareness of repeating a dangerous action. For example; focusing on and working towards ‘recovery’ is the last thing your inner intelligence wants you to do. The problem lays within the fact that you have no idea about your 7^th sense, your immune system or your inner healer or how to communicate with these incredible intelligences. Break a leg, seriously cut yourself, have an infectious disease or illness are all very tangible experiences of pain and discomfort. Overwhelming stress and burnout creeps up during a long time span, may be over many years. You are living and suffering with it long before it becomes apparent.

 

Imagine you could actually communicate with your 7^th sense and inner healing systems and the conversation goes something like this:

 

You.  Look you guys I’m in overwhelming stress and heading into burnout. It is ruining my life, all I want to do is recover to how I was before.

 

7^th sense. You’ve got to be seriously kidding us. How do you think you got into overwhelming stress in the first place?

 

You. I don’t really know, things got out of hand, I struggled for several years and then this overwhelming stress sort of snuck up on me .Suddenly I was aware that it dominated my entire life.

 

7^th sense. Exactly, and you expect us to calmly take you right back there to ‘recover’ so you can do exactly the same thing or things all over again and arrive right back here in overwhelming stress.

 

You. Oh no, it not like that. I shall be careful not to do the same things as I did before.

 

7^th sense. Oh, rock on! When are you going to get a little bit of reality? You don’t know how, why or when the stress started and you certainly have not a clue what to do about it. Your thinking patterns are so stuck in the thinking strategies that got you into overwhelming stress in the first place, you wouldn’t even notice the first sigh of doing again what you did before the stress overwhelm. For us the word recovery means taking you back to where you were and what you were doing before the stress symptoms stated. That is impossible because as clever as we are we cannot take you back in time. Secondly, as guardians of your life force, health and wellbeing we will not take you back mentally or emotionally to where you were before to do the same thing all over again.

 

You. OK, that is beginning to make sense. I had not thought of it like that. Right, recovery from stress actually means going back in time. But I don’t understand because all my life recovery from an injury or illness has always meant to get better.

 

7^th sense. Ah yes, that is right in general. Recovery and repair from a broken leg to return the bone to how it is meant to be. That is, returning it to its most appropriate form. Returning you back in time to the thinking strategies and programs that got you into overwhelming stress is not an ideal, practical or appropriate thing to do. What you have missed is that your environment has changed dramatically in the past 15 to 30 years and now it is in the process of changing infinitely faster than you can imagine. In the past, life largely remained unchanged for centuries. Today your DNA programming system is having to evolve at a lightening fast speed. If you are not changing your beliefs, values and even environment fast enough stress starts to mount fast. It is not easy to change these things and it certainly takes time on your own. There is another solution but it requires that you begin thinking in an unusual way given your condition.

 

You. How can I think in a different way?

 

7^th sense. That is a good question. The quickest way to think in a different way is to change those beliefs and values that controlled current or previous thinking. For example: Find all the beliefs, values and thinking patterns that got you into overwhelming stress and change them all for new beliefs to live your life in a different way. This does require that you also do something you may not have done consciously before. This is consciously planning a new future complete with a detailed plan. Changing your environment will also help this process so long as the new environment supports the new planned future life style. In simple terms, your social environment is changing so fast it is important to adopt new beliefs and values that support a modern life and replace those that got you into so much stress thinking. Old familiar and redundant thinking may seem comfortable but in reality it leads you into creating many new problems. Normally changing is a difficult process if working on your own or even with a partner. The best option is to engage a personal life coach that specialises in this subject.

 

You. OK. I understand that I need to plan my future also get myself specialised guidance but what can I do to start the ball rolling?

 

7^th Sense. The first thing you can do is change the words you use regularly that actually undermine your efforts. Start with changing the word ‘recovery’ to ‘moving forward into your future.’ So in the future, instead of saying you want to recover from overwhelming stress, you will say; I want to move out of stress and move forward into a less stressful fulfilling future. Notice the word move also that it is repeated. Get the feeling of moving forward into a better future. This simple change permits us to stop blocking you. Then we can start to help and support you in every way we can. You see making that one simple change will cause a huge shift at your unconscious and 7^th sense intelligence levels. Now, make the experience. First say I want to recover from overwhelming stress. Notice how you feel as you say it and after. Secondly, say I want to move out of stress and into a less stressful future. Again notice how you feel having said the new words.

 

Next stage; start designing that new less stressful fulfilling future and make your mind-movie until you can see yourself living it. The more you show us what you want the more we can help you obtain it. That’s all for now, we’ll see you in your new less stressful future, Bye for now.

 

Robert Denton    Mind-power and performance coach without the stress.

Recovery from Stress and Burnout- Seeing through the Eye of the Tiger

Changing Stress into Satisfaction

 THE EYE OF THE TIGER.  It is said the eye is the window into the soul. In this web-log article I look at a stressful case history and show how looking into the eye and the soul of a stressful situation, answers and solutions are found.

OK. Many of my web-log articles about stress, overwhelming stress and burnout are about what is happening and why.  The following is a real live case that illustrates how we all can easily fall into certain types of stress because of past programming or conditioning.

 

The root cause of this stressful case came from the fact that my client’s wife told her mother personal and sensitive details of her husbands personal financial gains. This was highly sensitive because the husband had been through a six month long mega financial stress crisis of his own as a result of the world financial crisis. The stress arose from fearing that his improved financial situation could melt away so easily. He felt his financial situation was far from stable and certainly did not want anyone thinking he was wealthy again.

 

The stress trigger occurred during a convivial lunch with all the family. The client’s wife mentioned that on holiday she had bought a dress and her husband had made a present of a hat to complete the ensemble.

 

The mother and mother-in-law said to the husband sarcastically “well that didn’t melt much of your money.” Immediately the cat was out of the bag. The client knew his wife had been gossiping again, sharing his personal sensitive information. The wife immediately realised that her husband knew she had been gossiping again. The wife said, “Mother, that was rude.” The mother took her daughter’s rebuke as a personal attack on her authority as the head of the family. From that one careless gossip 3 people suddenly notchup a load more stress and more was about to errupt.

 

The mother (90 years old) retired to her bedroom and summoned her two daughters and niece to her room and immediately charged her eldest daughter (70 years old) with having the audacity to challenge her and daring to place her husband before her mother. This eldest daughter stood her ground and a violent argument ensued.

 

The upshot was that the two daughters and the niece left the room and the mother stayed in bed and refused to move or accept anything to eat or drink for two days. That is until the husband fed up with the trauma and stress the mother was causing knocked on her door, entered the room and ordered his mother-in-law to stop behaving like a child, stop the nonsense and get out of bed. As expected this caused an incomprehensible shock that broke the silence. Within a few minutes the mother was protesting and giving orders, which largely everyone ignored.

 

During the following days my client’s mother-in-law had dug up a 70 year old festering emotional hurt and accused her daughter of rejecting her all her life. A few more associated and similarly unresolved emotional issues also came to the surface. The mother then denounced her daughter as no longer her daughter and therefore a non person in her life. The daughter now felt mortally wounded as her stress levels soared.

 

A little research showed none of the mother’s accusations were true save for the daughter not being able to digest milk from birth. Therefore, her inability to suckle the mother became a twisted emotional perception of rejection. Although the 90 year old mother is fully lucid and is well acquainted with the science of genetic programming and genetic imprinting, she chooses to support her perception of rejection by ignoring known medical facts.

 

The mother has now mostly isolated herself refusing most help from her second daughter or niece and has stopped taking important medication. This had caused additional stress to circulate the entire family and a real nightmare for my lient. Now he had to live with the daily crying, grieving emotional shock of his wife as well as her fears of what happens if her mother were to die while hating and rejecting her.

 

The entire family has been touched and is in someway experiencing increased stress to certain levels. The four major sufferers are the mother the two daughters and the niece. The two husbands have lost any respect for their mother-in-law as this recent affair has confirmed all their observations of manipulating behaviours and emotional game playing. They do not much care about the argument but are experiencing increased stress as a result of the effect on their wives. Other members of the family are influenced but not really over stressed by these events.

 

Further research found that the mother controlled her family and held overall power very much in the style of a puppeteer. The mother held power by game playing and threats. These were largely emotional blackmailing. Clearly the mother was still using game playing in an attempt to hold power.

 

Though not realising the fact the balance of power had changed. This was because the mother had never happened to comment on any sensitive issue that challenged the sleeping tiger. Now a new leader has been jerked out of his neutral position, he is managing the situation from a completely different perspective. Being an observer he explained the nature of the mother’s game and attempt to regain power. Although difficult to persuade at first, the main players are now thinking with a different mind strategy thus changing their behaviour as well as gradually deleting old beliefs. All but the mother are at this stage sitting on the sideline watching and observing. This means that the mother is exhausting herself punching at shadows. It also means that the stress felt by everyone but the mother has largely melted away simply because all have understood the fear and now have a better message. 

 

The remaining and most difficult change is for the mother to understand, accept and integrate herself into a new role and behaviour. Her behaviour has activated a new leader, there is no way back. Clearly, the mother is playing the hurt game for sympathy and will take a stab at exerting the feeling of her old power. This will happen in any way she feels capable of doing and at the slightest sense of an opportunity.

 

When breaking down the elements of this case it is clearly a common scenario that can occur in any family. With a few minor modifications, the same situation happens in work environments particularly where there are longer term employees who regard their presence as invaluable or indispensable. There are a veritable army of techniques of game playing to gain and hold power. Largely speaking the domestic victims like senior management knows about most situations. Unwillingly they play into the hands of manipulators because they do not want to rock the boat. Invariably the upper management falls into the trap of fearing the damage or fallout of intervening.

 

Those responsible for playing these power games mostly know how far they can go. Invariable they eventually become overconfident or simply careless. At that time they force their own removal and there is rarely any of the perceived fallout.

 

Unfortunately the fallout has already happened in the form of considerable stress for one or more people involved, (the victims) which can so often reach epic proportions.

 

For those used to raising or coping with children, who recognises from the above case, typical child tactics to control their parents. Just as weak management chooses to overlook certain issues, is for the same reason that parents fear to deal with their child’s behaviour. The answer  to why.  Because of the perceived consequences.

 

So here is the big question. When it all goes wrong who is to blame?

 

Is it the middle or senior management for not dealing with the situation appropriately as soon as it was detected? Is it the person or others responsible for the power games with associated manipulative strategies or is it the unsuspecting victim, the person who hits the overwhelming stress? In the above case history, is it the mother or the daughters at fault.

 

Well clearly all involved carry responsibility for a share of the damage. Then there is the shock that it is the over stressed victim who carries the greatest responsibility. In this case it is the daughters who are most responsible for their own stress and unhappiness. That’s unfair surely.

 

Well, the way stress works is that fear is the key. Somewhere there is a fear that the victim turns into an insurmountable mountain. Fear changes perceptions and fear stops someone from achieving there full potential. Fear focuses one’s attention on avoiding any danger. When this happens it cuts creative thinking or experiencing new things. Fear causes unaccountable behaviour patterns usually against the victim’s best interests. Fear also takes away self confidence, self leadership and self responsibility. The mother used the ultimate fear strategy at her disposal; she stopped taking her prescribed medicines. The immediate fear this was designed to create was – oh my God what if she dies?

 

Each one of us is responsible for accepting, mastering or resolving our personal fears. No one else can do that for us. Each one of us is responsible for how we perceive, understand and deal with the emotion of fear. In failing to be self accountable we invariably cede our personal power and leadership to others. That is usually to our own considerable disadvantage. The consequences are more and more forever mounting stress.

 

Fear also causes people to corrupt their beliefs and values in the name of a quiet life and that puts additional power in the hands of the unscrupulous and the game players. The creates two stressors. Working against personal beliefs is like driving your car with the hand blake on. Considerable stress is caused somewhere inside and something will likely be damaged or break. Secondly, knowing one is being manipulated develops anotherstress in the form of feeling powerless.

 

In this case history the mother was the Queen bee because she controlled by fear. The daughters and the niece relinquished their self leadership because they could not see how they had been conditioned for all their lives.  Finally a 70 year dominance and stressor was broken because the daughters and niece were persuaded to take responsibility for themselves. They were persuaded to take back the control of their own emotions. They were shown how to stop allowing their emotions to be hijacked by game playing and well practiced strategies. They were shown how to step back from the fear of what could happen but probably will not. That meant they were no longer focusing on perceiving the worst. They were shown the difference between caring for their mother while not being made responsible for their mother’s happiness or her life. 

 

The thing that really broke the mothers control and the super stressor was when the two daughters and the niece accepted that if the Queen bee chooses to cause her own death by not taking her medication then she alone has to take responsibility for that. Once the fear had been understood it disappeared. Once the fear had disappeared the stress simply drained away, there was nothing to hold it there any longer.

 

Although the three women did not like the concept of stepping back from their aged mother, once the seed had been sown they eventually realised it was essential to their own peace. As it was, it turned out that to stop the mothers medication was not life threatening but only meant the mother would suffer more pain and discomfort. Thus, another fear and stress base guided assumption faded into non existence. The mothers false reality veils were beginning to crumble and fall.

 

This case history and short explanation illustrates that we are all responsible for our own future happiness also for what we choose to be believable truths. As one law judge once said, “The truth is a mere perception and can rarely be found.”

 

So much stress is all about false perceptions and associated fears. When one learns how to manage feelings of fear in order to find a solution life takes on a whole new dimension of possibility. It is so much easier to master stressful situations by looking for the fear factors that underpin the stress driven belief. Facing the music whether emotional or based on other issues is usually far less painful than perceived. Most people are said to dislike change and will do anything to avoid a scene or cause problems. One should always keep in mind how overwhelming stress or worse, burnout, is a terrible price to pay for a false appearance of peace.

 

What is the learning?

 

1. In any state of stress find the underpinning fear or fears.
2. Look for any long established beliefs, values or behaviours that underpin the fear aspect of the stressful situation.
3. If used correctly fear becomes a personal guidance system. GPS is to guide you to where you want to go on the ground by providing information you do not have. Fear can be described as a guidance system to understand there is some important information you are missing or ignoring concerning the situation.
4. Where at all possible obtain a clear, pragmatic, third party view of the situation that is devoid of recommendations or advice.
5. Find the message of the fear emotion. That is, the missing information.
6. Take back whatever self control you may have let go of in the past.
7. Take back your own leadership.
8. Move forward to an agreeable lower stress future.

 

Certainly it is always important to consult your doctor. The above eight points do not come easily as a rule, therefore, you may well also find considerable help in hiring a life coach specialising in stress management who will guide you through the process.

Would you like to have my personal support to guide you out of your high stress situation FREE of charge.

 

I want to publish as many case histories as possible to demonstrate how to find the deep stressors also how to take back control. 

Names, gender, places and dates are changed so there is no possible chance of recognition.

 

If you are in a high stress situation and cannot find a way out, all you have to do is ask for help. Contact me Robert Denton at robertdenton@rdcoaching-power.com with a brief description of your stressful situation.

 

Robert P. Denton

Power-mind trainer and coach

Recovery from Stress, Overwhelm and Burnout Update 1.

Overwhelming stress or Burnout Recovery is all to do with the cause and the degree of burnout. First it is important to know that burnout is not an illness like depression. Stress and burnout is a state of self protection, internal healing and protection from damage to the brain and body, largely as a result of prolonged and excessive amounts of cortisol known as the stress hormone.

I have to reiterate the notion that recovery from stress is likely to be a limiting approach to the severe stress problem. Any notion or attempt to think or do anything that is designed in any way to take the sufferer to recovery will be blocked. Trying to go back to the state from where they first developed the high stress thinking patterns will immediately clash with their 7^th sense intelligence protection system. My most recent conclusion on studying stress relief is that the word recovery is associated with going back to where you were before and that is the last thing your 7^th sense will allow you to do. Thus my assertion is that the 7^th sense intelligence system is the master of the game not the stress sufferer. The next thing to realise is that in practically all cases of high stress and burnout the sufferer is doing all the wrong things to affect a happy and confident sate of mind. Starting with, fighting it. Trying to make a supreme effort to recovery. Smothering it with anti-depressants. Trying to be dynamic. Trying to live a normal life. Resisting or ignoring their intuition, 7^th sense intelligence and ignoring a life long talent they have possibly active avoided. Beyond these there are many other behaviours that directly or indirectly feed a growing stress cycle.

I realise the 7^th sense theory is a new concept therefore I will explain more of the subtlety of mind and self protection programming, which is certainly all part of the immune system.

For those readers familiar with the process of cognitive neuro transfer (receiving information from another person, animal or other life forms, also know as telepathy) the 7^th sense process is in essence an internal communication between conscious and unconscious thought and memory and a protection system that is doing its best to stop you doing the very things that are damaging your mental and physical health.

The question I have been asking during this ongoing study is; why should the body/mind want to slow or block itself? I fervently believe that at least one of the answers is due to this internal protection and healing system. What is so important to understand is that our world and the environments we live in and sustain have totally outstripped the evolutionary development of our internal protection and healing systems. What appears to be happening is that the body/mind system has been forced to fallback and depend almost entirely on its back stop of massive emotional trauma, which is now being referred to as overwhelming stress and burnout.

In many countries, particularly the United States of America and now western Europe stress sufferers are depending heavily on anti-depressants and similar drugs that essentially num the mind. Years of study have shown the alarming side effects most of the popular anti-depressants have on the users of those drugs in the long term. The awareness of the words ‘long term’ indicates those drugs are not only dangerous but not really of much use in relieving high stress. Certainly there is the issue of their damaging effects also they simply attempt to treat or smother the symptoms. Medical history is awash with evidence of the folly and the regularity of treating the symptom not the condition.

Modern research into how the mind works has conclusively demonstrated for many years how important emotions are as indicators that some psychological problems have stacked up and have been ignored. We disregard internal emotional signals at our greater peril. Anti-depressants depress and smother emotional signals. Awareness of high or overwhelming stress is awareness of internal emotional signals doing their best to tell us to stop doing what we are doing. This is because we are damaging internal states of balance, which normally permit the immune and health systems to function properly. That is why anti-depressants do not work, certainly not in the long term.

There are many issues to address concerning the anti-stress industry. I will touch on two of them here. One is evolution. Evolution takes a long time and yes, I certainly agree that stress has been around also for a long time. Stress is part of the fight or flight system that causes the body to produce the hormones adrenaline and cortisol, both, of which assist muscle function and performance including mental performance. In small and irregular doses these hormones are highly effective and mostly beneficial. Overwhelming stress and burnout signal that the person has been hugely overdosing on these substances. That signal is an indication of a state that is damaging, dangerous and even deadly.

Go back 200 years when few things changed. What did change was a gradual process. The people of that age are recorded in history to have even so been stressed by those changes. In the world of life, professional or high performance coaching the fact that changing a behaviour is difficult and stressful is well understood. The further back we go in history we discover how slowly evolution can take to change. Take the stone age axe for example, which evolved over hundreds of thousands of years and then when it had reached the peak of its design potential it remained unchanged for 65 thousand years. Now fast forward to today, evolution does not have a chance. We are forced to do the thing evolution cannot do. The modern world people of today do not have the option to take time to settle down and feel comfortable with all the things in our lives. As soon as we have something and just reached partial understanding of it, it is already outdated, redundant and superseded. This is what stress is all about.

The paradox is that the last thing we need to do to manage stress is to long for recover. Recovery is going back into the past. Recovery is trying to create an even worse stress situation. There is only one way in this world and that is to go forward. Therefore my conclusion is that in treating and healing overwhelming stress and burnout is in finding how to go forward under those conditions.

Amazingly the solution is far more simple than could be possible realised beforehand. Finding the way forward is immediately working with the 7^th sense system. Starting the process of working with the 7^th sense system and not against it is the first key to unlock the problem. Once this is started it instantly cuts off the stress hormone production also the emotional feelings of overwhelming stress.  As the 7^th sense intelligence is a new understanding of complex mental processes of the immune system it is wise to reiterate part of its working pattern. That is the part of the mind process designed to protect and heal ourselves. The 7^th sense is devoted to warning us via emotions of stress about behaviour patterns belief and values, which may have had a value in the past but are now redundant and must be changed and avoided.

Recently I was watching a CNN broadcast interview of a young man who had just quit his job. The coach who had been engaged to prepare the man to find a new job asked the following question. Quote:  “Why in this difficult period of job losses and a challenging time to find jobs, have you quit a secure job?” The young man said, “When I took the job I had a goal, a mission and a passion. I have successfully fulfilled that mandate and now the job has changed. The skills required no longer conform to my own skills therefore I want to find a new job, which is within my skill set, challenging and satisfying.” As I herd these words I though, how smart for this young man to listen and take note also act on his 7^th sense intelligence. Had he stuck in his job he would have worked himself into a high stress situation.

For those already in a high stress situation or burnout this is not a silver bullet, one shot and it is all over. First the process requires time to find and understand the cause with its associated factors. The following and most demanding part is the behaviour change process. Even when change is well under way, a person under treatment requires constant guidance. They will need support to sustain the change also to spot and avoid the dangers of falling back into old bad habits especially during the tough times of withdrawal.

Robert P. Denton  Mind-Power and Performance coach